My Roommate (for life): Dam-Dam, My Nigerian and British Sounding Goat

I don’t usually post personalized articles but today I decided to do one.

A few months ago I did my parents proud: I walked to the stage wearing a long black gown that made me look like I am some young advocate and a caramel and maroon sash over my shoulders. I shook hands with the Dean, hugged the boss of my bosses Mrs. Graca Machel, exchanged nods with the founders and I got my ALA Diploma.

During graduation, I attended a lot of thesis presentations and I cringed out of fear in most of them; I had multiple deep and enlightening conversations with most of my close friends, I said a couple of thank-yous to a number of people,I took a number of embarrassing selfies, hugged people whom I only spoke to during orientation in first year, laughed with friends and cried with Temilayo for hours on graduation day. I forgot someone. I ignored my roommate. Daminiyi.

I forgot the one person who has literally seen me in my worst; the only person who manages to annoy me and make me laugh at the same time. I forgot the only person whose loud music I managed to tolerate in wee hours of the night.

I forgot to thank the only roommate who was a better roommate than I was. Ironically, people thought we were a roommate match made in hell and bound to fight and fail. People anticipated hatred to sparkle once they enter our room. That was never the case. I wanted to kill you a number of times but it never got that deep.

Dami, my goat- as I would usually call you, you gave me a second chance in this lifetime to become a better person. I had a tendency of disliking and despising people based on hearsay. It was almost the instance with you. But I could not stoop down to that level anymore. A lot was said about you. I was tempted to judge you. But I refused to judge you, make assumptions and miss out on an opportunity to have such an amazing person in my life for at least a year. In the past I missed out on great friendships because I did that. My dear goat, you challenged me so much! You taught me how to respect people based on interactions not shallow things. To those who don’t know you, you appear arrogant and unkind. In all honesty, you’re an admirable kind hearted and amazingly annoying soul. I appreciate that.

I know how much you hate “moist” things but I just had to share this with you. I incredibly miss you. Even though I hate to say this but no one bullies me like you did. You are one of the most abusively awesome friends I have ever had. I will not even go on about the violent experience I had with you. The picture below speaks for it’s self.


I will always miss our post-midnight fights about switching off the lights and locking the door. They were never really fights because I somehow decided to be a grown up about the whole situation. (You damn slave driver!)

I will miss our post-quiet time Indomie noodles making sessions. Oh how I miss your well cooked and well-seasoned noodles which you took hours to make. I will never forget how we crooked the whole boys dorm; running around at night, knocking on every door to get 50cent coins to buy noodles and then we would get enough to buy noodles for the whole month.

I miss Saturday mornings. I miss dragging you out of bed so that you would not be late for class which you were unfortunately late for all the time. Or how will I ever forget locking you inside the room on Saturday mornings so that you would miss Dean’s talk. (I am sorry but your new roommate will have to deal with that.)

Thank you for introducing me to awesome American TV shows which I bribed you to load into my laptop.

Thank you for reminding me that looking good is not a choice nor is it a habit but a prerequisite for happy living.

Thank you for the loud jazz music which I insulted your life for.

No one has really seen me cry as much as you did. You know I detest pity. Days when I would lock myself in the room and cry, you always found a way to lift my spirit by annoying me and making me laugh and forget about the sadness and the pain. I did not even have to tell you what was wrong but you stuck by me. Thanks Dam-Dam.

I don’t know what the future holds but here are some of my promises:

  1. I swear, if you punch me, drag me on the floor, strangle me, jump up and down on me ever again, amidst other inhumane things you did to me, I will get you arrested. No jokes. That I promise.
  2. I will always be in need of your honesty- your brutal, heartbreaking and suicide contemplating honesty. Avail yourself for that.
  3. I will always bribe you with McFlurry from McDonalds for you to do things for me.
  4. Finally, I will always be here for you.

Today, as you transition into being a “secondie” (why on earth did your class choose such a horrible name?):

  1. Please don’t forget I exist. By that I mean responding to my texts (especially when I check upon on you or asking for food). That being said, I expect 10 packs of noodles (not Maggie abeg), plantain chips and chin-chin.
  2. Please stay awesome.
  3. Be kind to your roommate.
    1. Edit his essays
    2. Help them during dorm clean because first years are lazy
    3. Lock them out of the room as often as possible
    4. Introduce them to good music
    5. Make them fashionably awesome
  4. Please graduate
  5. Don’t outshine me. Stop doing everything I used to do at ALA.

I miss you.

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