Heaven, Will You Pick Up The Phone Already? Mommy Needs to Call Someone.

Dear Grandma,

I might not know you but thank you for raising a champion- your daughter, my mother.

I heard you were an amazing woman. How I wish I could have met you.

You know, mommy tells me about you all the time, especially when things are not going well like right now.  I wish I was born early- just to be with you. All we have left is photograph and we are desperate for your presence and existence in our lives. You see, two days ago it was Mother’s Day. I heard that you would cook a storm in the kitchen on this day. Even Papa used to tell us about what a wonderful cook you were, that’s another thing you left Mama with; the longing for your food.  More than that, it’s been twenty four years since you were gone. Twenty four years of sorrow in mum’s life. I’ve heard her tell us that she wished that you were around. We run to her every times when we have no one to fall back on, but she has no one to run to. At times, more than her, I wish there was a phone we could call just for her to hear you speak again. Just for her to hear you call her name. Gogo, that’s the name I would call you. Growing up, I knew no woman worthy to be called that apart from you. We wish you were still here. Mama needs you.

She longs for you. She hasn’t had it easy since you were gone. She later had me and then two others followed. And the immediate youngest after me, has been named after you. Thandi Thokozile Motsoeneng. She has your complexion, we have been told. Her hair: longer than the cobra by the stream down the road. And as for me, I am told I look like Uncle Thulani. Aunty Valery said it too. You see, when Mama sees us, she is often reminded of you and Uncle Thulani. She is often reminded of how you both looked like. She is reminded of the music you liked, the story you told her and mostly, the love you showed her. I hear you were a strong woman, she is too. She has risen above sickness and all sorts of afflictions. She has made us strong too. But at times, she calls on your name, she hopes that you might respond. She prays to hear the sound of your heels clicking on the floor heading towards her.

I know you will not see this, but just know Mama thinks about you all the time.

If you are with Papa, tell him that I miss him too.

Happy Mother’s Day

Love,

Kabelo

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