We Don’t Need Friends

We need more than just people we can casually hang out with and lie to one another.

We need people who can buy into our dreams and aspirations. Friendship should be more than talking about the latest fashion trend, who’s going out with who, who is ratchet and who you would like to go out with and what not. It should surpass the shallowness that we tend to term friendship. Friendships are emotional investments. Not the kind of investment where we share a tub of ice cream because you have been dumped like they usually do in American movies and African movies have also followed suit. The kind of investment where you are both mutual investors. Where I can buy into your dreams and you are certain I can buy into yours. Where opinions are honest and not sugar-coated with sweet nothings but intellectual and well-crafted thoughts. I am not trying to sound all Dr Phil and philosophical but I think it is about time the art of friendship be redefined for our benefit.

It is good to have that one friend that can always be there for you. The investee. Such friends are like diamonds, once you don’t take care of them, they can become really scarce. And when the run out, we resort to an old time cliché: When days are dark, friends are few.

I have one good friend of mine that has been a loyal investor. For the sake of this post I will name him Kevin. Kevin and I became friends in the spring of 2013 when we started boarding school together. When he was sick, I was there for him not expecting that he will do the same for me. I didn’t want to show him I was worried sick about him because I wanted him to feel better and not be worried about me worrying about him. Kevin is just a free spirited person. He doesn’t attach meaning to a lot things but friendship means a lot to him. Our friendship does. When I went through the storms in my life, Kevin was there to keep me calm. At times, I hated him. I hated him for sticking by me and telling me things I didn’t want to hear. I didn’t want to hear him say that “everything will be okay” when I knew they were far from being “okay”. It didn’t make sense how everything was going to be okay when I had just been rejected admission at the college I wanted to attend. Kevin was patient with me. He understood me. These are the kind of friends we need. The investors that have faith in what and who they are investing to. Investors that understand some days are good and some are just terrible. Investors that have realistic expectations. Not expecting much but not withholding from the investment. We need friends that will enable us to grow on personal level, professional level and intellectually. It is good to always unwind and talk about stupid nothings, but it is immensely important to invest in the sort of friendships that make you a better human being. I aspire towards such!

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